The do’s and don’ts of online dating, from a newlywed.

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Almost 2 years ago now I wrote a humorous (well, I thought it was funny…) blog post on taking a data-driven approach to dating.  In that post I promised to write a follow-up if I had success.  Since I got married in July, I guess it’s about time I keep that promise!  So here’s a few things I learned along the way (big thanks to the okcupid data blog and the okc forums on reddit) that might prove useful to others.

For the sake of transparency, these are written for someone who’s looking for a life partner, if you’re just out there to get laid you can disregard most of them. Continue reading

Career advice for my younger self

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2008’s The Incredible Hulk is – by far – the weakest film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but it has a few good lines. One of them is when the antagonist declares to General Ross that if he could take the knowledge and skills he has as a forty year old and put that into the body he had in his 20’s he’d be a truly dangerous soldier. It’s a moment that I think most people who’ve dedicated years to something could relate to.

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Doing the Math on Online Dating

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I’ve recently found myself single for the first time in almost a decade (I’ll skip the back story if it’s all the same to you), and it’s taken some getting used to.  There’s good and bad both but, on reflection, I don’t think I want to stay single long term.   The bad news is that the percent of the population that is unmarried and has no children starts shrinking rapidly at age 26 and I’m already 7 years past that.  I’d like to believe that somewhere on the edge of the bell curve is the woman for me, but that still leaves the question of where and how to meet her. My best bet? Online dating. Here’s why.

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Culture and Opportunity

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I’m kind of a radical.  I say “kind of” because I’m fairly sure that at 32 my days of living in treesits and getting teargassed at endless pointless protests that don’t change anything are pretty much over.  But I learned a lot along the way and these days I tend to see those lessons or principles as the most valuable part of the ethos.  The old lefty idea of a messianic revolution that will solve all our problems is pretty much completely discredited.   The good news is that there hundreds of mini revolution happening around us all the time.   And the more experience I get in the business world the more strongly I believe that horizontally organized peer groups are more efficient and productive then the standard top-down management structure that typifies governments and most businesses.

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Dollars and Sense

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The tech startup world, as anyone who’s spent time in it knows, is a weird place. It’s a strange little bubble universe that’s absolutely awash in cash while the rest of the economy struggles and stumbles along, but the people you might expect to be raking in the cash usually aren’t. Case in point – the people who’ve benefited the most from the tech boom in SF over the last decade are arguably the city’s landlords. There’s a city full of people with 6-figure incomes who each spend half – or more – of their take home pay on insanely overpriced tiny apartments. According to some studies I’ve seen recently (sorry, I can’t find the link atm, will try to add it in an edit later) rents across most of the city have doubled in the past year. And they weren’t exactly cheap to start with! Continue reading

Are you driving like a Jerk?

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A quick quiz:

  1. Do you consistently tailgate people and use your brights to blind and intimidate them to force them out of your way?
  2. Do you change lanes without signalling and make a habit of cutting people off in traffic?
  3. Have you ever crushed and mangled a motorcyclist by swerving into him or her or turning left across their lane without warning?  Are you likely to do so in the future?
  4. Do you consistently drive slower then the flow of traffic and insist on doing so in the fast lane?
  5. Do you pace yourself to match the speed of the car to your right so the two of you form an impenetrable wall that no one can get past?
  6. Do you open your car door while parked on the side of the street without checking for oncoming bicyclists or motorcyclists who could be killed or seriously injured by having a door open right in front of them with no time to stop?
  7. Do you pull out into the intersection just as the light is turning red so that you end up sitting there blocking traffic in the other direction when it’s their turn to go?  Are you utterly incapable of understanding that your myopic selfishness is what creates traffic jams and turns downtown into a parking lot every day?
  8. Do your fellow drivers constantly flip you off, shout obscenities at you, and swear vengeance upon you and all your progeny for seven generations?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions you’re driving like a Jerk!  Do the world a favor and buy a bus pass, you clearly don’t belong behind the wheel of a car.

This has been a Public Service Announcement from the Coalition of People who Hate You (CPHY).

Think of something else that should be included in the quiz?  Post it in the comments!

*Update: It looks like I’m not the only one who feels this way.   Too bad their decals are too big to fit on my motorcycle…