It’s an open secret that I am, to put it delicately, a gigantic nerd. One of the few pastimes that has survived becoming a father is the occasional session of Pathfinder (a D&D-based roleplaying adventure game) that I play with friends. One of the essential tools to maintain sanity is to find humor in the daily chaos of raising tiny humans; and the trail of chaos and destruction my 15 month old son leaves behind would make any fantasy adventurer proud. Heck, some of the stuff he does would be downright useful on a fantasy battlefield!
After a bit of joking around on the topic with a few fellow parents who game, I decided to take that idea a step further. I therefore present to you the Toddler, a custom prestige class based on my one year old and designed to work with D&D 3.5 or Pathfinder 1. It should also be easily adaptable to your system of choice. It is open source and free to use or adapt, on the condition that you link back to this post if you do so.
- Chaotic Alignment
- Able to spontaneously cast 2nd level arcane spells
- ‘Rage’, ‘Bloodrage,’ or ‘Raging song’ class feature
D8 HP progression, 3/4 BAB, fast Will save progression, slow Reflex and Fortitude.
The Toddler continues to gain new spells and new spells per day in the arcane class used to qualify as though they had gained a level in that class. Toddler levels count as 1/2 of a level in that class for the purpose of awarding Bloodline powers and can only be applied to a single bloodline from a single class.
The Toddler gains a free bonus feat selected from the following list: Improved Unarmed Attack, Catch Off Guard, Throw Anything, or Improved Natural Attack.
The Toddler’s pre-existing Rage feature is replaced by Chaos Rage. For the purpose of calculating rounds of Rage per day, Toddler levels stack with the class that gave access to Rage. Any existing Rage Powers may be used as part of a Chaos Rage.
While in Chaos Rage, the Toddler is unable to use any form of language, but can still cast spells that have linguistic components as long as there is no requirement that they be understood. They have a 20% chance to understand spoken language, but if they succeed cannot give any indication that they do or act upon any information received.
While in Chaos Rage they may add 1 point of damage to all unarmed attacks, improvised weapon attacks, or natural weapon attacks (depending on the feat chosen) for every 2 Toddler levels.
– Get down from there! The Toddler gains a Climb speed of 20′ while in a Chaos Rage.
– What’s in your mouth?! One per day, as a swift action the Toddler gains the ability to eat one random item or object that would not normally be edible and gain a 20′ boost to land speed for a number of rounds equal to half their Toddler level. Any ill effects (such as sickening from eating poisonous things) are postponed until after the ability expires.
The Toddler’s chance to understand spoken language increases to 30% and they gain the ability to use gestures to make themselves understood while in a Chaos Rage, restoring their ability to cast spells that require they be understood.
The Toddler may pick a second feat from the level one list, gaining the same bonus to damage to an additional damage type.
– I’m OK! Once per day the Toddler can choose to take half damage from any attack if no one in their party sees them get hurt. This ability can be used after damage is rolled. (Credit to my friend Meg Williamson on this one)
– Messy: The Toddler may spend a standard action to Make a Mess and designate all squares they pass through on that turn as Messy. Messes are considered difficult terrain and carry a trip chance for all characters and npc’s other than the Toddler who move through them. Trip DC is calculated as 10 + Charisma bonus + Toddler level. The Toddler may add additional Messes by maintaining their concentration and continuing to spend a standard action each turn. While doing so, the Toddler can continue to move using their normal move actions while leaving a mess behind them as they go. This ability may be used in conjunction with What’s in Your Mouth. The messes persist until someone else (not the Toddler) spends an action to Clean Up the mess.
– Don’t Wanna!: The Toddler’s ability to understand spoken language increases to 50% and they gain a 30% chance to disregard any charm or compulsion effects.
– Kiss it Better: Once per day when the Toddler falls below 50% hit points, a Toddler’s teammate can heal wounds by spending a standard action to Kiss it Better. Doing so heals 3d8+Toddler level HP.
The Toddler gains an additional use per day of the “What’s in your Mouth” power and their climb speed increases to 30′
– Play Nice: The Toddler gains an additional use of “Kiss It Better” and allies may now move through messy areas without being affected by the Trip chance. Messes are still considered difficult terrain.
– Nononono! The Toddler gains the ability to refuse to understand anything they do not want to understand and becomes completely immune to charm and compulsion effects while in a Chaos Rage.
– Piercing Shriek: The Toddler may release a piercing shriek of sonic energy that ruptures eardrums, inducing migraine headaches which sicken and cause deafness to all characters other than the Toddler within 30′. The Deafness and Sickening effects each have a fortitude save (10+Toddler level+Charisma bonus). These effects last for a number of rounds equal to the character’s caster level, with a new save for each effect every round. If used in conjunction with the Insanity Point system, failing both saves adds 1 insanity point.
And there you have it! All the chaos and madness of life with a healthy happy toddler, distilled into a highly playable package for your next nerd night. Get your chaos on!